Trè Berserk
I'll ask of the berserks, you tasters of blood,
Those intrepid heroes, how are they treated,
Those who wade out into battle?
Wolf-skinned they are called. In battle
They bear bloody shields.
Red with blood are their spears when they come to fight.
They form a closed group.
The prince in his wisdom puts trust in such men
Who hack through enemy shields
-- Thórbiörn Hornklofi
RYAN! Feddersen
Alias: Firecracker
Origin: The Feddersen Clan
Fighting style: Kamikaze
Weaponry: Prefrontal cortex
Weight class: Heavy Weight
Special skills: Extrasensory Perception
Philosophy: Quantum mechanics dictates that all things simultaneously exist and do
not. It is in these unsettled moments that reality becomes malleable and
telekinesis possible.
Affiliations: North West Association of Femme Nazis, Boys from the Dwarf,
Brock Johnson
Alias: Space Rhinoceros Cowboy of Love
Origin: Pluto
Fighting style: Apeshit
Weaponry: Spiritual Snorkel-horn
Weight class: Heavy Weight
Special skills: Distraction
Philosophy: Bokononism
Affiliations: Ephrata VFW
Andy Johnson
Alias: Strom Petty
Origin: Eureka!
Fighting style: Yogalates
Weaponry: Wrists of steel
Weight class: Irrelevant
Special skills: Curtain creation, shield weaver
Philosophy: "My job is to protect you, Lady Glinda even if you are loosing your
mind."
Affiliations: AARP, Minutemen, Club Penguin
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